All Grown Up

So it is official. I’m a grown up.

I have a job, bills and responsibilities that to be honest I am just not ready for, but hey, I can’t turn back now.

It’s funny that when I was younger all I ever wanted was to be independent, to be on my own and to do whatever I wanted, when I wanted. I thought being an adult was fun and liberating. Guess I was so wrong.

For more than 20 years of my life I have been a dependent. Use to depend on my parents for everything (I did study for 4 years after finishing high school, so yeah that explains why I am only on my own now). I tend to want to ask my parents for things or help now but I am like “No! You’re old”. I feel I am at the stage where I have to take care of my family and not them taking care of me. I am stressed by the fact that I actually do not have all my ducks in a row yet. I have no idea what to do with my life and also don’t know which direction I am going in.

Even though it seems that I am not happy with growing up, I can’t turn back the hands of time and plus there is actually nothing I want to go back and change. Everything that has happened in my life was supposed to happen or I wouldn’t be the person that I am now if it wasn’t for those events.

I just want to move forward with my life. I know that God shall reveal my purpose all I have to do is live.

I personally seek complete emancipation from my parents. Not that I don’t want to talk to them or anything like that but I want to take care of them but first I need to let go and find myself.

Growing up is hard, I am still trying to get the hang of things, I am still stumbling, still falling and not yet on my feet. Standing tall is my goal and reaching it is my mission.

Now as an adult I personally feel I think way too much. I am constantly thinking and stressing about things that I have seriously no control over. I miss my spontaneity, because everything right now is planned and calculated. I know this is not healthy but yeah I am working on it.

Such experiences are the ones that make you who you are and they add character to your personality. One advise I have is when things don’t go the way you planned, don’t let that define you. Just know that we are all destined for greatness.

Just wanted to share with y’all how I was feeling and this is probably the reason why I stayed away for so long, wash trying to get my ish together.

Hope y’all have an awesome day

Make sure you smile 😀


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